The Queen is opening a new hospital and is being shown around by a matron and a doctor in a white lab coat. As she approaches the first bed and asks the young man what ails him he responds - " Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the pudding-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place. Painch, tripe or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o'a grace as lang's ma arm". Bemused, her majesty moves on to the next bed and asks the young man the same question. He replies - "The deil cam fiddlin' thro' the town, And danc'd awa wi' th' Exciseman, And ilka wife cries, "Auld Mahoun, I wish you luck o' the prize, man." The deil's awa, the deil's awa, The deil's awa wi' the Exciseman, He's danc'd awa, he's danc'd awa, He's danc'd awa wi' the Exciseman. ". By now somewhat confused, her majesty nonetheless continues onto the next bed. Again asking what ails him she gets the response - "O my Luve's like a red, red rose, That's newly sprung in June: O my Luve's like the melodie, That's sweetly play'd in tune. " The Queen then turns to the doctor and asks if this is some kind of mental ward, at which the doctor replies " No ma'am its the serious Burns ward!". Tonight is Burns night, and all across Scotland there will be "hunnerds" of gadgies tucking into Haggis "Neeps an tatties" and imbibing a dram or two in honour of the great bard. So with the first verse of the Selkirk grace I bid you a happy burns night.
SOME HAE MEAT AN' CANNA EAT AND SOME WAD EAT THAT WANT IT BUT WE HAE MEAT AN' WE CAN EAT AND SAE THE LORD BE THANKIT.
Robbie Burns
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