You're Pretty Vacant!

How hard can it be, really, to answer a simple question? Would you like still or sparkling water? ..........um.............yes. I mean its not as if Im asking you to name your favourite film or which celebrity you'd most like to shag. There are pretty much only two answers (three if you're brave/stupid enough to drink tap water) - still/Evian or sparkling/badoit. Yet Im constantly amazed when people have to devote serious brain time to this most insidious of riddles that I ask them at the start of service. Tonight was worse, much worse. Its bad enough having to deal with that on an ordinary night, but tonight was no ordinary night. Tonight was the first night of the Chester Racing calendar. So people are usually tanked up by the time they arrive here. We have to apply lashings and lashing of patience and biting of our lips when dealing with drunks. And apart from one high maintenance table, the evening seems to have passed smoothly. One down, two to go!